Sunday, April 22, 2007

Rove Double-Teamed By Crow, David; McGraw Loses His Toupe

The mainstream media are reporting it as some mild-mannered disagreement.

Au contraire.

More like triple-teamed. And a full blown assault.

The global warming mafia ( in DC for today's Earth Day concert) attacked Rove, with blows nearly resulting between Earth Day perfomer Tim McGraw, an out-of-the-closet country lefty, and Rove's peeps. Emails have it that McGraw bum-rushed the table after seeing his fellow Earth Day worshippers getting the worst of the pre-planned (see below) ambush. In the midst of the scuffle, McGraw's toupe is said to have come unglued and fallen below his eyebrows. The obviously Where-The-Green-Grass-Don't-Grow McGraw was seen sprinting from the room, followed by wife, Faith Hill. Said one attendee, "McGraw's face was redder than his Indian Outlaw persona... He was totally embarrassed."

Here's a quick briefer: Crow and David, who are on the early-leg of their global warming proapganda tour - which kicked off in Dallas last week amidst the record-breaking cold and snow (in April), ambushed Rove at his table with the intent of harrassment. They were hoping to make a point and then blog about it heroically (e.g. We attacked Rove!). Rove first tried to brush off the insults being hurled at him by David (producer of "Convenient Lie"), but was abruptly grabbed by Crow. It then got nasty, with a loud shouting match ensuing. Rove told Crow, "Don't touch me." Crow yelled, "You work for me." Rove responded, "No I work for the American people." McGraw than attempted to insert himself into the story, as did Rove's posse (and McGraw's aforementioned rug).

Of course Crow and David spun it another way on their blog...

"How hardened and removed from reality must a person be to refuse to be touched by Sheryl Crow?"

Hey, can you blame Rove? Crow is a self-professed enemy of toilet paper. I certainly wouldn't want that smelly enviro-gasbag touching me either. Remember, Ms. Crow wrote this about the evils of toilet paper on the HuffPo...

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Can you believe these people? One square of asswipe per dump. Is that double or single ply, Sheryl? Is there any wonder why Lance Armstrong dumped this aging hippy chick? I think they even allow a couple to three wipes of the ass in communist Cuba and China. These people are truly insane.


Jeff Jack said...

Ecellent post, bro!

Buck Sims said...

Tim McGraw is a liberal pussy. I was a big fan years ago until he went Hollywood and commie on us.

Anonymous said...

You're nothing but a neocon dickhead. Keep up you Rove gospel edict.

Anonymous said...

I would suggest you lose this website quick. The Enviro mafia will be looking for a hit on you asap.

Candace Jordan said...

Lance Armstrong is probably relieved that he parted company with Sheryl before she fell on her face on her way out of the outhouse. I wonder what he saw in that nitwit in the first place.

I never heard how Laurie and Sheryl were received on several of their college campus stopovers - to sing about global warming - and the temperature in the evenings through Maryland and New Jersey in April and May were 30-40 degrees.

I wonder if Sheryl and Laurie lost enthusaism for their cause. I wonder if anybody questioned their sanity. If the "college students" didn't question this, their education didn't mean much, and their money (or their parent's money) was wasted.